Warzone or Workplace

Dear Dean,

The point your office manager is trying to make is not that you put skills and looks on an equal footing - but that you are blinded by looks and overlook who is best for the job.

And you are not alone. Many men turn into salivating baboons who turn off their brains when faced with an attractive, charming woman in a job interview. They stop listening, let the job interview go on far too long and then argue passionately against all reason for hiring the attractive person once the interview is over.

Obviously you fit the salivating baboon variety. As such you should listen to your office manager who is probably also annoyed that the company will be forced to pay a beauty premium. Don't know what that is?

A survey by Daniel Hamermesh of the University of Texas points out that after collecting data from many countries, attractive people (people with symmetrical features) are paid more (by silly bosses like you) than plain people. In the US and Canada, attractive people enjoy a beauty premium of 5%. In Shanghai women earn 10% more.

I am not advocating that you should not hire beautiful women who, of course, are as capable - or incapable - as anyone else.

Just that you keep the caveman out of the office.

Mind you, you can't be completely boorish. You have hired a very insightful office manager.

Hi Diane,

Bizarre isn't it? People take sickies when they are not sick. And when they are really sick, go to work.

Diane, what are you asking me for? You know perfectly well, and you must do it on behalf of all of us.

First spare the client. Find out who the client is, reschedule, walk over, look your manager in the eye and tell him he is not going to see the client. Clients have sacked for far less. Then call a cab and shove him in the back. (Wash your hands afterwards.)

I looked around for some Aussie stats on how many people come to work sick and couldn't find any. But I found this from the US, printed in Fortune magazine.

It was a poll by ComPsych a major provider of employee assistance programs. The firm surveyed 1000 employees of its client companies nationwide and found that 83% plan to come to work even if they are sick, up from 77% the last time.

ComPsych asked this question two years ago. More than one in three (37%, up from 34% in the earlier poll)) said their workload is just too heavy to allow for time off, and 21% (up from 17% in 2005) said they plan to save up their own sick time for when their children are ill.

But of course you know where all this is going. Next time you come into work sick because you are simply indispensable, you will be looked at askew by staff who will dub you a hypocrite. So make sure you practice what you preach.

Stephen,

Have you ever had a boss give that, "I think you're great but I can't afford to give you a pay rise" conversation. You go away almost swallowing their bull, understanding how you just have to hang in there for the team - then you find out later about their fat bonus for keeping the salary costs down.

Remember if you are going to spin the "we can't afford it" line, you better have a rock solid strategy, unless of course you don't give a stuff, but then you wouldn't be writing to your online Agony Aunt, would you...

Look, I am a gal who likes to assume that 95% of staff do do the right thing and are reasonable, so let's talk about how to deal with those valuable staff members to whom you won't be giving a pay rise anytime soon. Before you meet, make sure you know the employee's salary history, when their last pay rise was, and scrub up on their recent performance. There's nothing worse than having a conversation with a boss who barely knows your employment history.

When you can't offer a straight pay rise, it is worth having some alternatives to soften the blow.

• Deal 1: No pay rise now, but this much in six months if you meet these performance hurdles.
  
• Deal 2: No pay rise now, but a half-day off every second Friday or school pick-up once a week.
  
• Deal 3: No pay rise now, but I can send you on this training course/conference.
  
• Deal 4: No pay rise now due to company performance. Here are the figures. If the company reaches these targets, we can reconsider in six months.
  
• Deal 5: No pay rise now, but a parking space.
  
• Deal 6: Offer leave without pay or sabbatical.

If the employee is furious/upset, use the following technique:

"I understand you are upset INSERT THEIR CONCERNS HERE ...,
...however, the company is just not in a position to INSERT POSITION HERE ...,
...therefore we can only offer you INSERT OFFER HERE."

Finally, remember you are the boss and you don't have to give anyone a pay rise, but just be aware of the world we live in, the skills shortages we face and the value of a committed employee. Talented, hardworking staff need to be recognised, acknowledged, appreciated and incentivised or they will go elsewhere.

Calm down. Of course you want to throttle Dunderhead. We would all like to throttle Dunderhead on your behalf. But George. You are facing a test of your leadership and entrepreneurial skills here.

When we survey entrepreneurs we find the most successful, while often perfectionists in nature, are capable of accepting mistakes in their ranks. They have a forward focus - which means they don't hold grudges (unless against competitors). They also see mistakes as opportunities to learn. And they encourage a culture where mistakes are tolerated - otherwise people are too scared to take risks - or even do their job properly.

So start here.

1. Has the client really been lost? Is this something that not even tickets to the Boxing Day cricket and a groveling apology from you could not fix? Can you point out to the client that you are a start-up, that systems have been fixed, it will never happen again and you value their ongoing support?

2. Have a look at your systems. Who was he reporting to? Where has the training fallen down? Is there an underlying cultural issue that needs to be addressed? Are your resources stretched too tight so that people are making unnecessary mistakes?

3. Take Dunderhead aside and tear strips off him. You might need to give him a first warning so he fully understands the import of his crime.

Watch his response. If he is defensive, he is not general management material and you'll need to watch him. If he gets it, then good. Discuss the way you have changed his training, reporting lines etc so it will not happen again.

Then George, treat this as a learning experience and move on.

And remember this:

It's only a mistake if it happens twice. Then it is a BIG mistake.

Hi Tony,

I am going to give you some advice here that will cause uproar with all those pragmatic consultants out there. Go with your heart. You have been running your business for a decade. Congratulations!!

You now have a lot of experience accumulated through the head that has been deposited in the heart. Act on that. Yes, it is so hard to get rid of staff when no one even bothers to respond to your ads!! But ask your staff for referrals to other great people. Give them a reward if the candidate works out.

Many managers think they are stars, indispensable, and blame other things except their own performance. But we all know that no one is indispensable - (even me Tony!!)

You must make a quick judgement and go for the cut. If you know what you are doing and all the figures are heading in the right way, it is clearly their performance and not you who is to blame.

Now I am off to the Cup - I'm the one in the fetching hat.

Giddy up!

Your Aunty B

Dear Sarah,

Take a deep breath and get this in perspective. You are just tired. You have also forgotten what it is like to be a wage slave and beholden to the whims of incompetent managers.

But don't take my word for it. A new study by Murdoch University Business School has used data from the national Household, Income and Labour Dynamics survey. It compared data from 526 business owners and 6840 wage and salary employees.

The researchers looked at a range of issues, including satisfaction with one's own life and job, individual priorities, perceived prosperity, risk preferences and individual health and well-being.

And guess what they found? The level of satisfaction between the self employed and paid employees differs significantly - and it is the bosses that triumph!

Bosses are significantly more satisfied about their employment opportunities, their life conditions, their personal safety, in feeling part of the community, their personal health and the neighbourhood in which they reside. They also feel "very comfortable" with their own prosperity and more willing than employees to take risks to gain financial well-being.

All of these are the commonly accepted measures of well being. And these findings broadly align with similar findings among other nations across the OECD.

But - and this is a big but - the well-being has a cost. Wage and salary employees are more satisfied with their free time and more satisfied with the hours they work and their leisure activities than bosses.

The researchers conclude that bosses may feel they are always responsible to their businesses and their customers, and that this spills into their free time.

And Sarah, although the research does not suggest this, we both know that bosses work and worry on weekends - so no wonder they feel they have less control on their free time.

So Sarah, weekend work and worrying is hugely annoying. But as long as you are getting all those other benefits, it may put it in perspective.

And don't forget. Surely gaining more free time is an easier problem to deal with than trying to find satisfaction in your job!

Your Aunty B.

Hi Mark,

Sybil has to go. And you, Mark, need to have a look at your managing skills.

It is totally unacceptable for someone to walk out and not come back for the rest of the day. Sybil should have been warned the first time she did it that she would be docked for the hours she did not work and given an official warning if she ever did it again. She then should have been given options and suggestions to help her deal with her frustration or anger in a constructive way.

The mistake you are making is to separate the personal from business. You can't. They are one and the same.

You say yourself she is having a very negative effect on office morale. This directly affects your business and your poor long-suffering staff, particularly as you are such a small team! (I assume you keep Sybil locked away from your suppliers and customers...)

Mark, the good news is once you take the plunge and move Sybil on, I am sure you will feel enormous relief and wonder why you didn't do it before.

So first decide in your own mind that she is going to be sacked if her behaviour does not change. Then call her in and tell her how her behaviour is affecting the office. Give her specific examples. Tell her that it is no longer acceptable. Offer her some assistance or training to change and then tell her you are giving her an official warning. Set a date for a review meeting in a week.

Given her personality, it is likely she will resign. Hopefully you could organise a nice farewell for her, thanking her for the contribution she has made to the company.

And one last suggestion. I think you might need a little help. You are easily manipulated and obviously used to putting up with dysfunctional people. I wonder if you lived with a highly manipulative person in your early years and you got used to it?

Stay strong Mark, and good luck!

Your Aunty B

Dear Sucker,

What made you think that bosses were in charge? We are mere pawns who come to work every morning to service the needs of our employees. Mind you, I do think you are whinging about nothing.

I read a list recently of the most outrageous demands made by staff in fast growing Australian companies (the name of the company is in brackets).

These were my favourites:

* That I give them one of my Porsches (SecureTel).
* That a spa bath be installed to reduce stress and encourage fraternising between staff (WorkPac).
* That I drive a staff member in her traditional wedding dress to her wedding in my two-seater (Complete Financial Services Australia).
* Travel allowance as his girlfriend lived in a different state (Smart).
* Work part time for us and part time for a competitor (NetReturn).
* Asked for a bonus when he just cost the company $70,000 (Vantage Holdings).

So Sucker, take heart and keep a cool head. Agree when it contributes to better morale and productivity, and make sure staff know that you do have those expectations. But don't go overboard.

Meanwhile, I would like to offer my services to Crazy John - he took most of his workforce to Queensland for a holiday earlier this year. And I do need a new car - Rowena Szeszeran-McEvoy and Kerry McEvoy (who run the Australia Institute of Fitness training colleges) have given key staff Ferraris and Porsches.

Dear Robert,

Are you nuts? Of course you have a problem. A major problem. Actually it's red flag time Robert. Because "Trusting PA" is telling you loud and clear not to trust her and you Robert, are not listening.

What does she have to do Robert? Empty your bank account?

The PA sees no line between company property and her personal needs. Worse, the incidents are increasing in scale. Unless you immediately jump on this, you could end up with a far worse problem.

And Robert, your problem is worse than you think. The bookkeeper. Why didn't the bookkeeper pick this up before now? He is either sloppy or too chummy with the PA.

This is what you have to do. Call in an accountant to check every transaction going right back to when she started.

Sit her down and have a discussion about what has happened so far. Tell her that you have very strict lines of accountability and you are very concerned that she has breached these. Explain that an accountant needs to go back over the books and you would like her co-operation with this process. Ask her if she can think of any other incidents she needs to tell you about before the accountant does.

Robert, I am afraid the best thing that can happen at this point is that she does get up and leave. The trust has been breached, Robert.

And if the accountant does uncover discrepancies, they you must pursue her and charge her.

Good luck, Your Aunty B.

Dear Sick of It,

Congratulations on having 20 staff! You have officially joined the ranks of Australia's medium-size businesses; they are a scarce breed.

Here is my view on paperwork, procedures and red tape: they are a blight on a fast-growing organisation. Didn't expect to hear that did you? (Accountants and lawyers can complain to Feedback. I'm not listening.)

But don't worry. It is the job of all entrepreneurs to spring-clean and now, of course, is the appropriate time of year to do so.

Call all staff together and ask them to spend the next week looking at how they do things. Are there any steps that can be cut out, any paperwork eliminated, any red tape that can be cut or any money saved? Make it a competition: those with the best ideas for saving time and money get a prize.

Target those employees who have just joined from large organisations and are keen to make a great impression. Often in their first months these zealous and well-meaning employees will critically examine how things are done and often try to impose big business systems. It takes a while for them to understand that your company's goals are to comply with all regulations and be efficient with as little paperwork, procedures and red tape as possible.

Happy spring cleaning,

Your Aunty B

Dear Robert,

Phew. Glad he is your problem and not mine. First the body odor. Tell him. It's that simple. Point out that when you were young, you had a similar problem. Then just to follow up, make sure he gets deodorant in the Kris Kringle.

I think he sounds insecure. You are dealing with someone who really doubts his own ability. Look a little deeper to try and see what his problem is. See if you can try and address his psychological need for reassurance.

Explain to others that he is not a pain in the arse but an arse in pain, and ask for their help.

If you can persuade everyone to feel sorry for him, they may be able to ignore his needy behaviour.

You could always torture him by increasing his budgets and moving him into a very difficult sales territory. But I don't think that's the answer. Set an example and be kind. But as soon as his behaviour moves towards bullying, threaten to sack him. People like him are wimps who push the line, but also toe the line when you threaten.

Good luck, Aunty B